Ghosts of the Past
by Panneverfails9
Summary: "If you truly loved me, you wouldn't have left Neverland. You wouldn't have left me!" "That's where you're wrong Peter, I left because I loved you!" No matter how hard you try, you can't simply pretend that some things didn't happen. You can't just act like you've always had a perfect life. The ghosts from your past will come back to haunt you. I learned that the hard way.
1. Prologue

**This is my first story on so um I hope you guys like it. I've always really wanted to post one but I never got around to it but anyway, here's the Prologue Feel free to review or post constructive criticism. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time or any of its characters. I only own my OC.**

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Prologue

_Burning. That's what my lungs felt like. Like they were on fire. But I knew better. I was drowning. My lungs were screaming for just the tiniest bit of air. I didn't panic. Not at all. I embraced it, I welcomed my fate. I felt myself slip in and out of consciousness._

_I never believed it when they said you could see your life flash before your eyes before you die. Until now. I saw everything, my entire life. The people I'd lost or hurt. All the horrible and all the good things I'd ever done. All the hurt and suffering I'd endured in my life was coming to an end. __**Finally.**__ I let my eyes flicker shut as the darkness surrounded me. I welcomed it and let myself fade away with a peaceful smile…_


	2. Chapter 1

_Burning. That's what my lungs felt like. Like they were on fire. But I knew better. I was drowning. My lungs were screaming for just the tiniest bit of air. I didn't panic. Not at all. I embraced it, I welcomed my fate. I felt myself slip in and out of consciousness._

_I never believed it when they said you could see your life flash before your eyes before you die. Until now. I saw everything, my entire life. The people I'd lost or hurt. All the horrible and all the good things I'd ever done. All the hurt and suffering I'd endured in my life was coming to an end. __**Finally.**__ I let my eyes flicker shut as the darkness surrounded me. I welcomed it and let myself fade away with a peaceful smile…_

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Chapter 1

I woke up with a gasp. I was drenched in sweat. My long dark brown hair stuck to my neck and forehead. I'd been having the same dream for the past few months. It would start out in a different way but it would always end the same; me drowning. I felt like I should be freaked out, but I wasn't. After the initial shock of dying in a dream, I always felt completely calm.

_I might as well get up. _I thought to myself. I looked at my light blue alarm clock sat on my desk next to my bed. 7:23. _Crap!_ I'd overslept again. Mr. Gold was going to kill me. Every morning at 7am, I'd go to Mr. Gold's pawn shop for work. I never went to school like other sixteen year olds because I never felt like it and no one could make me go.

With a sigh I heaved myself out of bed and started getting ready for the day. I drudged over to my bathroom and turned on the light. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was a mess, I had slob lines on my face, and crust in my eyes. _A real sleeping beauty. _Quickly, I washed my face and attempted to brush through the tangled mess I call hair. I threw on a light blue sweater and a white mid-thigh length skirt. I rummaged through my messy room to see if I could find at least one pair of shoes. Under my bed, next to an empty pizza box (don't judge me) I found a pair of blue flats.

I was still putting on my shoes when I ran out the door. I was sprinting to Mr. Gold's pawn shop when I crashed into Henry. I love that kid, he's so precious. Unlike his mother Regina. She's as evil as they come. Despite that she's still my best friend. (Weird? I know.) Regina used to be really sweet and nice until her desire to ruin Snow White's happiness corrupted her.

It had only been a few months since Henry left Storybrooke to find his real mother, Emma. Everybody was relieved when Emma broke the curse and discovered she was the Savior and everyone got their memories back from where they lived in the Enchanted Forest. Everyone except Regina, Mr. Gold, and I. Mr. Gold and Regina weren't affected by the curse and I figured it out after, you know, staying about 10 years of staying 16. Gold agreed to give me back my memories if I agreed to work for him.

"So are you up for it? Ella. Ella! Were you even listening?" Henry asked pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry. I wasn't listening. What did you say? Henry sighed and repeated what he said.

"I said I was going to Granny's Diner later. Do you want to come?"

"Sorry kid. I'm going to be busy later" I attempted to ignore the look of disappointment on his face but it was gone in an instant and replaced with one of curiosity.

"Busy doin' what?"

"Stuff" I responded evading his question. I wasn't lying when I said I'd be busy later. Well I guess technically I was. I really didn't want to be around a bunch of chaos and knowing Henry's family there was definitely going to be some.

"How about tomorrow I buy you a hot chocolate from Granny's?" I saw a flash of hope in his eyes.

"With cinnamon?"

"Sure. But I can't do it today, I'll do it tomorrow I promise."

"No! Don't promise me." He exclaimed.

"Why?" I asked surprised. Henry hesitated before answering.

"Adults always break promises they make to me." Suddenly I felt really bad for Henry. He was right. Adults are always breaking their promises to him. To make him feel better I fixed my sentence.

"Okay. Well I don't promise. But I will try my very best to be there tomorrow. Anyway I gotta run kid. I'm already late for work."

"Alright then, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya! Oh, and one more thing, I'm not an adult." I called out to him. I'd never really liked adults. Even when I was younger I'd always dreaded having to grow up and be one. Adults are mean and bossy. I mean I am too, but that's not the point. Adults are worse. They expect you to listen to them and respect them just because they were born before you.

Some adults I don't mind, it's the ones that assume that they're always right and are hypocrites. Or the ones that tell you, you will be a horrible queen and our kingdom will fall if you don't stop slacking in your studies in diplomacy. What, your parents never told that before? Oh, well mine did and don't get me wrong, I loved learning diplomacy. There's just something about being able to tell someone to go freeze in the icy depths of 9th circle of Hell in such a way that they'll ask for directions that excites me (or maybe I'm just insane). But when you have sit through two hours of learning it _every day_ and have to listen to some old man/lady drone on and on while forcing yourself not to play connect-the-dots with the moles on his/hers' face, you get sick of it pretty quickly. But anyway, to sum up my earlier statement, basically: adults=bad, children/teenagers=good.

"Gold!" I shouted as I entered into the pawn shop just for the sake of making noise. "Gold?! Are you in here? Rumpie-Bumpie?" Did I just someone giggle? I could practically smell the waves annoyance coming off of him from the nickname.

"Is all the shouting really necessary, Miss Aylin?" he replied from the back of the store. I scowled. He knew I hated that name even though it's my real name.

"I thought I told you to call me Ella. You know how I feel about that name and yes. The shouting was necessary." I stated as I walked through the curtain into the back of the store.

"I'll stop addressing you by _your name,_ when you stop addressing me as Rumpie-Bumpie."

"Oh come on, I thought you loved tha- Um..am I interrupting something? If I am I can come back tomorrow." Gold and Belle were leaning against the counter holding on to each other with glasses of wine in their hands. I suddenly felt like I was invading something private. Belle was looking at him like he was the only thing she ever needed in this world (or any world for that matter).

"Your free stay if you want Ella." Belle answered.

"Nah I think I'll let you two..uh finish what you were doing. Oh and hello Belle." She nodded in response.

"Alright then , I'll see you tomorrow Miss Ella and if you would, lock the door on your way out."

"Ewww Gold, that's disgusting." I mocked deciding to mess with him a bit more.

"Not like that Ella." Gold said taking a sip of his wine.

"Uh-huh. Whatever Gold, you better watch how much wine you're drinking 'cuz I'm not babysitting any mini-rumples anytime soon." I laughed on my way out as he choked on his wine and started muttering under his breath.


	3. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 3

After leaving Gold's shop I made my way towards Granny's. Thankfully it wasn't as crowded as it usually is, people are probably still trying to find their loved ones and friends after the curse was broken. I sighed. I still remembered the blissful looks on everyone's face when they regained their memories. Their eyes filled with love with love and joy that is until they saw me. Their eyes went from joy and love to anger and hate. Since Regina was my best friend and were pretty close, everyone always assumed I was just as evil as she was and that I had a part in her evilness. When in reality I was on their side. I never supported Regina in her passion to destroy Snow White. I'd always viewed both of them as the younger sisters I never had.

Every time I would try and talk to Regina and tell her what she was doing was wrong, she would go into these rants about me having no idea what Snow White has put her through. During these rants I would usually keep my mouth shut and my emotions in check, until Regina went too far during one of her rants.

In this particular rant Regina claimed didn't know what it felt like to lose someone you love. I lost my temper that I always worked so hard to control. I then proceed to freeze Regina to her wall along with the rest of her castle. I remember being so furious I probably could've killed her right there. That day was when I first told someone about my past and who I really was. After I finished telling (aka yelling) my story she looked at with me tears in her eyes. And even though I accepted her apology I was still mad. I unfroze her and her castle and stormed off leaving an apologetic Regina behind. From then on until she cast the curse that sent us to Storybrooke, every time Regina saw me she had this pitying look in her eyes like she felt bad for me which always infuriated me. I didn't want hers or anyone else's pity.

Few people in this Godforsaken town didn't think I was evil or with Regina. Those people included Emma, Henry, Mr. Gold, Belle, and Snow White herself if you could believe it. For everyone else I was pretty much in the same boat with Regina. I wasn't surprised to find out David didn't like me. Considering the amount of times I saved his and his wife's lives while we were still in the Enchanted Forest and all the times Snow tried to convince I him wasn't like Regina, he still held resentment towards me and didn't trust me. Although I think I can understand where he's coming from. Considering all the time I spent with Regina and Snow White, I can understand how it could've looked like I was spying and giving her info on Snow White's whereabouts or something.

The rest of the people thought I was some sort of witch because even though, I spent many years with Regina and Snow White, I still looked 16. I always told people I used magic to make me look younger and they always believed it, the gullible fools. But unfortunately, that's not the kind of magic I have. My magic is the power to freeze things and control water, ice and stuff like that. I'd always thought it was pretty cool (see what I did there) until it pretty much ruined my life. And no, I'm not being overdramatic. I'm not one of those people who are mean and cold (once again see what I did there) to people for no reason. There's a reason for pretty much everything I do. I might as well go ahead and tell you my story and you'd better not tell anyone or else I'll something unspeakably horrible to you and your family. My life was pretty much perfect until one fateful day, and yes I do have to be dramatic.

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**Hi! I'm glad people are enjoying my story so far. Thank you so much to pogocrazy7 and Doodle Dee Bop Bop for the positive reviews, they are much appreciated. Ella's story about her past will start in the next chapter .Be warned, it may contain some suggestive themes. Don't worry it's nothing too bad but still. The link to Ella's outfit in the 2nd and 3rd channel are on a link in my profile for those of you who are curious. I will try my best to get the next chapter up by either Tuesday or Wednesday. Sorry for the ultra long AN, I'll leave you guys alone now. Stay Flamin'!**

**-A very sleepy Kenya. ;)**

**P.S I'll probably describe what Ella looks like in the next chapter too. Okay Bye**


	4. Author's Note

**AN: I AM SO SO SO SOOOOOO SORRY! I KNOW I PROMISED TO HAVE THE NEXT CHAPTER UP LAST WEEK BUT AS I WAS WRITING I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GOTTEN A SLIGHT CASE OF WRITERS BLOCK. I WILL TRY TO HAVE UP SOMETIME THIS WEEK BUT DEFINITELY NO LATER THAN SATURDAY. ONCE AGAIN I AM VERY VERY SAORRY FOR KEEPING YOU GUYS WAITNG BUT IT'S COMING. AND I PROMISE I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU GUYS.**

**-A very distraught Kenya**

**P.S.**

**I'm thinking of changing Ella's first name. Which sounds name sounds better? Eira-Elizabeth or Aylin Elizabeth? Let me know in the reviews what you guys think. Okay bye!**


	5. Author's Note 2

First, I would like to state that I 'm sorry for not posting. I've had a very horrible writers block that I'm just getting over. I have decided that I am going to start Ghosts of The Past over. Don't worry nothing major is changing, but I'm going try to make it so that it makes more sense. As a gift for making you guys wait, I'm going to post an excerpt from the revised version of GOTP. Although it fixes take place towards the middle.

Another thing, I've also started writing a new story named How Should I feel based on the song Monster by Meg&amp;Dia. That story will also be a PanxOC. This one is a bit more mature than Ghosts of The Past so I haven't decided what it should rated. I plan to start posting this story around mid December, but I make no promises because we all know how that worked out last time.

It feels so good to be back writing again. Ghosts of the Past Should be updated within a few days. I would like to thank pogocrazy7 for inspiring me write in the first place and you all should go check out her stories. Finally, I'd like to thank all of you who favorited or followed the story, it really does help. Once again I am truly sorry for disappearing for a few months but I promise will make it up to you guys with the revised version of Ghosts of the Past and my new story, How Should I Feel.


	6. Revised GOTP Excerpt

The wind blew through my hair as I leaned against the side of the Jolly Roger thinking of the events that just happened. I stared at the dark waves that surrounded us crashing against the ship and focused on the smell of sea salt anything, anything at all to get my mind off him. Those beautiful bright green eyes that held hurt, anger, and betrayal when I last looked in them probably the last time I ever would. Those pink lips held in a snarl. What I would do just see them smirk again. Stop! Think of something else. I felt something wet fall against my hand. No, I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

_**He deserved it, he had it coming. After everything he did to you, you're still crying for him? Pathetic.**_ Oh great, the voice was back. _I can't help it. I'm trying my best here, the last thing I need is you berating me so if you could go away that would be great._ _**Where do you expect me to go huh? I'm inside your head idiot.**_ I could practically hear the smirk if voices could smirk just like Peter would have.

**_Stop talking about him as if he's dead, he's not although he will be soon. It would have been all your fault. You could have saved him. _**Oh my God. Sh-I'm right. I could have saved him; I could have let him keep Henrys' heart. He would have been immortal. But Henry would have died. I felt my start to water again.

"Just leave me alone!" I snapped at the voice. Everyone turned towards me looking concerned and I realized I'd said that aloud. I leaned my head against the rail and covered it with my arms. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around. David. The last person I thought would voluntarily talk to me. The look on his face told me it wasn't.

"Hey, are you alright? You've been acting weird ever since we left Neverland." He looked as if he didn't want to talk to me but he did sound concerned. I didn't care; I remembered what he'd said to me earlier.

"Why do you care?" I asked bitterly "I'm just a villain, not to be trusted remember?" Venom dripped from my voice like Dreamshade. "I'm just like him. Why are you even over here, did Snow or Emma send you?" _**You are just like him, don't deny it.**_ _Not now voice, go away._ _**We've been through this.**__ Whatever just shut up!_ _**Fine, whatever, someone's grumpy.**_

"Yes, Snow sent me, but I wanted to talk to you anyway." the look on your face says otherwise.

"Look, I'm sorry. I never should have said those things. I just wanted to rescue Henry and get my family home as soon as possible and when I found out about you and Pan" he sounded like he had to force that last part out.

"I thought," David sighed. "I don't know what I was thinking. I know what it's like to be in love; you would do anything to make that person happy. I guess I just-"I cut him off.

"–you assumed that I would side with Pe-Pan and please him by preventing you from getting Henry, you thought I was a threat. You were doing what thought best for your family by getting me out of the way. I can understand that. But what I don't understand is why? Why wouldn't trust you me? All these years, I've helped you Snow and not once did you thank me or anything. You've always pushed me away David. Why?" He looked down.

"I honestly don't know. I've always been afraid to trust you. I'm not one to trust easily and when you'd vanish right after you'd help Snow it just seemed suspicious. Every time you were with Snow, Regina would find us. I always thought you were working with her."

"Okay, but on Neverland I risked my safety countless times to help your family David. I worked so hard so that you and Snow could have your happy ending. I ruined my chance at a happy ending to help you rescue Henry! What do I get in return, a chance to be a "Hero", a chance to be on the "good side"? You've rescued Henry, now you're going home, then what?! You get to be one big happy family and live happily ever after? What about me David, I have nothing in Storybrooke. The one person I loved and care about is dying and I can't help him because I helped you have your happy ending!" I was shouting at this point but I didn't care, I was furious.

"What about me? Call me selfish if you want, I don't care anymore! Where's my happy ending huh? Do I not get one 'cause I'm a "villain"? Only the 100% good guys get to be happy? Is that it?" I was out of breath. David opened his mouth but quickly closed it. He glanced down at my hands which were tightly gripping the wooden railing of the ship. They were covered in a thin layer of frost and I noticed the temperature dropped about 15 degrees. Everyone was looking at me worriedly, I knew needed to calm down. The last thing we needed was a blizzard in the middle of the ocean.

"Ella, what do you think your happy ending is?" Snow asked joining David and I. She was speaking carefully as if trying to tame a dangerous animal. I looked down almost not wanting to answer her.

"My happy ending was with Peter on Neverland. He would've had the Heart of the Truest Believer and he would have been completely immortal and would've just been us and the lost boys. That's all I would've wanted.

"You really do love him don't you?'' Snow asked "Just having by your side forever would have been enough." I noticed she was looking at David when she said that.

"Yes, I really do. But I don't know why I even told you that. It never could've happened anyway." I told her.

"Why not? I mean what stopped you in the past. You know besides having to live with that monster?" David asked. I looked sharply at him even though he was right, Peter Pan is a monster. That you just so happen to be in love with. You again? Fine I'm leaving.

"Charming!" Snow scolded him.

"What? He is." She pointed at the other side of the ship telling him to leave.

"I'm sorry; he can be so insensitive sometimes." Snow said.

"Snow you don't have to apologize for him, he's right; Pan is a monster. But he wasn't always this way. He used to be as the stories described him as: carefree, mischievous like any other teenage boy."

"What changed him, what happened if you don't mind me asking?" I actually did mind her asking but I needed to talk to someone and here she was. I sighed.

"I did. I happened. Everything your family just experienced is my fault. I made him the way he is now. I'm the one who turned Peter Pan into a monster."


End file.
